“You’ll Waste Your Whole Life If You Don’t Hear This” – Time Expert Oliver Burkeman Warns

Rangan Chatterjee

24 sept 2025

Episode description

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Many of us feel under constant pressure to optimise every moment, to become more efficient, more productive and somehow more worthy. But what if embracing our limits could be the key to living a calmer, more meaningful life?

This week’s returning guest on my Feel Better, Live More podcast, Oliver Burkeman, believes that accepting that we can’t do everything might just set us free.

Oliver is the author of the Sunday Times bestselling ‘Four Thousand Weeks’ and ‘The Antidote’, and for many years wrote a popular weekly column on psychology for the Guardian. His work has also appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Psychologies and New Philosopher.

His latest book, ‘Meditations for Mortals: A Four Week Guide to Doing What Counts’, takes us on a liberating journey towards a more meaningful life – one that begins not with fantasies of the ideal existence, but with the reality in which we actually find ourselves. Designed as a four-week ‘retreat of the mind’, it offers daily wisdom, solace and inspiration to aid a saner, freer and more enchantment-filled way of living.

In our brilliant conversation, we discuss:
● Why the belief that life will finally feel easier once we clear our to-do list is such a persistent illusion
● How shifting our focus from endless achievement to small, present moments can transform the way we experience each day
● Why the fantasy of perfect decisions keeps us stuck in indecision, and how accepting the downsides of any choice can set us free
● How our fear of wasting time is often rooted in perfectionism, and why many of us feel we have to earn our worth through effort
● The liberating idea of daily-ish habits – a flexible, compassionate way to keep showing up without turning routines into self-criticism
● Why we don’t need to wait for life to feel calm or under control before we start living with more intention
● How embracing our limits and accepting that time is finite can help us feel more fully alive and connected

I was delighted to have the opportunity to speak to Oliver again as he brings such clarity and compassion to questions so many of us grapple with. Instead of offering yet another system for getting more done, this conversation is about stepping back, loosening our grip and recognising that a good life isn’t measured by productivity but by presence, meaning and connection.

#feelbetterlivemore
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Connect with Oliver Burkeman:
https://oliverburkeman.com
https://instagram.com/oliverburkeman_
https://tiktok.com/@oliverburkeman
https://linkedin.com/in/oliver-burkeman

Oliver’s Books:
Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts US https://amzn.to/4mqzoFF UK https://amzn.to/489at6b

#feelbetterlivemore #feelbetterlivemorepodcast
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DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Episode description

Mindsip insights from this episode:

Acknowledge limitations to focus on meaningful ambitions

Acknowledging your limitations is not about settling for mediocrity, but is the exact way you can focus your life on your most meaningful ambitions.

#personal-growth

Embrace scruffy hospitality for deeper connections

Letting people into your 'imperfect' home without a facade of perfection fosters deeper connection and is more enjoyable than striving for a flawless presentation.

#relationships

Reframe interruptions to foster connection

An 'interruption' is often only a problem because of the rigid definition you've placed on your time, and reframing it can turn a frustration into a moment of connection.

#mindfulness

#relationships

Act from desired identity to achieve calm and focus now

Instead of striving to reach a calm and focused state in the future, you can decide who you want to be and act from that identity immediately.

#calmness

#focus

Adopt 'daily-ish' habit rule for sustainable success

Aiming to do a habit 'daily-ish' (e.g., 4-6 times a week) is a more gentle and sustainable approach than a rigid daily rule that invites failure.

#consistency

#habits

Prioritize meaningful activities over relentless optimization

The cultural push to optimize everything can lead you to eliminate the very activities that make life worth living, even if they are inefficient.

#fulfillment

Accept choices to overcome fear of future regret

Anxiety is often caused not by actual regret, but by the fear of future regret, which can be eased by accepting that any choice will have unavoidable downsides.

#anxiety

#emotion

Strengthen feet with VivoBarefoot shoes to alleviate pain

A trial showed that wearing VivoBarefoot shoes for four months can increase foot strength by around 60%, which can improve issues up the kinetic chain like back and hip pain.

#footwear

#pain

Practice self-compassion by treating yourself as well as others

Instead of treating others as you'd like to be treated, a more useful rule for self-compassion is to not treat yourself worse than you would treat other people.