The impact of emotional health on longevity, self-audit strategies, improving well-being, and more | Paul Conti, M.D.

Peter Attia

Apr 15, 2024

Episode description

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Paul Conti is an author and practicing psychiatrist who specializes in helping people heal from trauma. In this episode, Paul returns to The Drive to delve into the intricate relationship between emotional health, healthspan, and lifespan. He first challenges common assumptions about the inevitable decline of emotional health with age, providing strategies for conducting a comprehensive audit of internal emotional health. He establishes a framework for the foundation of good emotional health: a balance between the generative drive, the assertive drive, and the pleasure drive. Paul also explores the nuanced dynamics of motivation, happiness, and satisfaction as it relates to material possessions, draws connections between physical and emotional well-being, confronts the impact of negative self-talk, and describes how making peace with our mortality can foster a sense of hope, purpose and well-being. Additionally, Paul offers many practical insights into initiating emotional health improvements and navigating the search for a suitable therapist.

We discuss:

  • The importance of prioritizing emotional health as we age [2:45];

  • The impact of emotional health on healthspan and how to foster a proactive approach to emotional well-being [7:00];

  • The discrepancy between outward success and inner fulfillment, and the importance of a healthy “generative drive” for genuine well-being [13:00];

  • A deeper dive into generative drive: impact on human behavior, resilience, purpose, and more [23:15];

  • Evaluating one’s inner self: introspection, self-awareness, challenging societal norms, and returning to the basics of physical and emotional well-being [29:00];

  • Self-auditing tools: introspection, curiosity, and exploring underlying reasons for unwanted behaviors [41:45];

  • Breaking free from destructive cycles by understanding the continuum of self-care and addictive behaviors and remaining curious [50:15];

  • Critical self talk: the malleability of one’s inner dialogue and the potential for transformative change with perseverance and self-compassion [1:00:15];

  • Slowing the anger response and gaining insights into the underlying triggers to achieve lasting change and self-understanding [1:13:45];

  • Foster

Episode description

View the Show Notes Page for This Episode

Become a Member to Receive Exclusive Content

Sign Up to Receive Peter’s Weekly Newsletter

Paul Conti is an author and practicing psychiatrist who specializes in helping people heal from trauma. In this episode, Paul returns to The Drive to delve into the intricate relationship between emotional health, healthspan, and lifespan. He first challenges common assumptions about the inevitable decline of emotional health with age, providing strategies for conducting a comprehensive audit of internal emotional health. He establishes a framework for the foundation of good emotional health: a balance between the generative drive, the assertive drive, and the pleasure drive. Paul also explores the nuanced dynamics of motivation, happiness, and satisfaction as it relates to material possessions, draws connections between physical and emotional well-being, confronts the impact of negative self-talk, and describes how making peace with our mortality can foster a sense of hope, purpose and well-being. Additionally, Paul offers many practical insights into initiating emotional health improvements and navigating the search for a suitable therapist.

We discuss:

  • The importance of prioritizing emotional health as we age [2:45];

  • The impact of emotional health on healthspan and how to foster a proactive approach to emotional well-being [7:00];

  • The discrepancy between outward success and inner fulfillment, and the importance of a healthy “generative drive” for genuine well-being [13:00];

  • A deeper dive into generative drive: impact on human behavior, resilience, purpose, and more [23:15];

  • Evaluating one’s inner self: introspection, self-awareness, challenging societal norms, and returning to the basics of physical and emotional well-being [29:00];

  • Self-auditing tools: introspection, curiosity, and exploring underlying reasons for unwanted behaviors [41:45];

  • Breaking free from destructive cycles by understanding the continuum of self-care and addictive behaviors and remaining curious [50:15];

  • Critical self talk: the malleability of one’s inner dialogue and the potential for transformative change with perseverance and self-compassion [1:00:15];

  • Slowing the anger response and gaining insights into the underlying triggers to achieve lasting change and self-understanding [1:13:45];

  • Foster

Mindsip insights from this episode:

Honor generative drive to achieve lasting happiness and health

Beyond drives for assertion or pleasure, humans have a fundamental 'generative drive' to create and contribute, and honoring this drive is the key to lasting happiness and health.

Recognize achievement does not equate to happiness

High achievement and external success are not reliable measures of a healthy generative drive, as they can be pathologically fueled by fear, shame, or deprivation.

Audit internal self-talk to assess emotional health

To evaluate your emotional health without biomarkers, analyze your internal monologue, especially the critical things you say to yourself when you make a mistake.

Transform perfectionism to silence inner critic

The relentless pursuit of perfection can turn your self-management function into a harsh inner critic that constantly berates you, sometimes unconsciously leading to self-sabotaging behaviors.

Record kind responses to silence your inner critic

A powerful technique to change a harsh inner voice is to record yourself audibly responding to your own mistakes with the same kindness you would show a best friend.

Delay your anger response to manage outbursts

To manage outbursts of anger, create a mandatory delay between the trigger and your reaction, such as setting an alarm for an hour before sending a heated email.

Avoid funhouse mirrors to achieve clear self-assessment

We often create confusing mental constructs, like comparing our current problems to historical tragedies, which act as 'funhouse mirrors' that distort reality and prevent clear self-assessment.

Evaluate therapist for synergistic therapeutic relationship

A key metric for a productive therapeutic relationship is whether 'one plus one equals more than two,' meaning the interaction creates a synergistic effect that is greater than the sum of the two individuals.

Enhance emotional health as you age

Unlike physical and cognitive health which predictably decline, emotional health is the one component of healthspan that can actually improve as you get older.

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© Mindsip 2025 – Made with ❤ in Vilnius