What the dying can teach us about living well: lessons on life and reflections on mortality | BJ Miller, M.D. and Bridget Sumser, L.C.S.W.
Peter Attia
Jun 23, 2025
Mindsip insights from this episode:
Distinguish pain from suffering to manage experiences effectively
Pain is a physiological sensation that can be managed, whereas suffering is a threat to your identity, and you can experience one without the other.
Live consciously to shape your end-of-life experience
The way you die is not a separate event but a continuation of how you lived, as you will default to the same coping mechanisms and relational patterns you've practiced your whole life.
Allow solitude for peaceful passing
It's a common observation among hospice workers that many people seem to need a moment of solitude to finally let go, often dying just after a loved one has stepped out of the room.
Honor expressions in delirium before medicating
A physician's unique perspective is to not always rush to medicate delirium, as there may be something vital or important the person is trying to express.
Understand home hospice costs to prepare for caregiving expenses
The US home hospice benefit does not cover the cost of 24/7 caregiving, forcing families to pay out-of-pocket for what can be an enormous expense.
Respect natural signals of a dying body to prevent harm
A dying body naturally stops sending hunger and thirst signals to protect itself, and forcing food or fluids can cause pain and harm.
Frame wishes positively to enhance life satisfaction
Instead of creating an advanced directive focused on treatments you don't want, it's more helpful to define the minimum requirements you need to still find delight in life.
Choose to refuse unnecessary medical interventions for peaceful dying
To die peacefully in the US, you often have to actively refuse the medical system's default mode, which is to do everything possible to maintain a pulse, even if it's not a life.
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