How to Find Your True Purpose & Create Your Best Life | Dr. James Hollis

Andrew Huberman

May 13, 2024

Episode description

In this episode, my guest is Dr. James Hollis, Ph.D., a Jungian psychoanalyst, renowned educator and author on finding and pursuing one’s unique purpose. Dr. Hollis is also an expert in the psychology of relationships and healing from trauma. We discuss how early family dynamics and social context create patterns of both adaptive and maladaptive behavior and internal narratives that, when examined, lead to better choices and a deeply fulfilling existence.

We discuss discovering your unique self-identity and purpose through specific practices of reflection, meditation and conversations with others. We also discuss self-perception and the evolution of roles within marriages, parent-child relationships, and work.

Throughout the episode, Dr. Hollis provides both basic knowledge and practical tools to help us assess ourselves and better understand who we are and what we really want in careers, relationships of all kinds, and society.

Access the full show notes for this episode: https://go.hubermanlab.com/cNcfTmo

*Thank you to our sponsors*
AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman
Mateína: https://drinkmateina.com/huberman
Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman
BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/huberman
Waking Up: https://wakingup.com/huberman

*Follow Huberman Lab*
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab
Threads: https://www.threads.net/@hubermanlab
Twitter: https://twitter.com/hubermanlab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hubermanlab
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hubermanlab
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-huberman
Website: https://www.hubermanlab.com
Newsletter: https://www.hubermanlab.com/newsletter

*Dr. James Hollis*
Website: https://jameshollis.net
Books: https://jameshollis.net/hollisBooks.html
Jung Platform: https://bit.ly/3yjVhTJ
Videos: https://jameshollis.net/hollisVideos.html
Upcoming lectures: https://jameshollis.net/hollisLecture.htm

*Timestamps*
00:00:00 Dr. James Hollis
00:02:14 Sponsors: Mateina, Joovv & BetterHelp
00:05:57 Self, Ego, Sense of Self
00:13:59 Unconscious Patterns, Blind Spots, Dreams; Psyche & Meaning
00:21:56 Second Half of Life, Purpose, Depression
00:25:37 Sponsor: AG1
00:27:08 Tool: Daily Reflection; Crisis
00:31:47 Families & Children, Permission & Burdens
00:37:27 Complex Identification, Self-Perception; Social Media & Borderline
00:41:55 Daily Stimulus Response, Listening to the Soul
00:45:40 Exiting Stimulus-Response, Loneliness, Burnout
00:51:19 Meditation & Perception, Reflection
00:54:58 Sponsor: Waking Up
00:56:15 Recognizing the “Shadow” & Adulthood
01:02:48 Socialization; Family & Life Journey
01:09:04 Relationships & “Otherness”, Standing Your Ground
01:15:51 Marriage, “Starter Marriages” & Evolution; Parenting
01:19:37 Shadow Issues, Success & External Reward, Personal Growth
01:27:59 Men, Alcohol, “Stoic Man”, Loneliness, Fear & Longing
01:37:33 Women & Men, Focused vs. Diffuse Awareness; Male Rite of Passage
01:44:31 Sacrifice, Relationships; Facing Fears
01:48:20 Therapy, “Abyss of the Self”, Repeating Patterns & Stories
01:55:17 Women, Career & Family, Partner Support; Redefining Roles
02:01:40 Pathology & Diagnosis, Internet
02:07:05 Life, Suffering & Accountability, “Swamplands” & Task
02:11:32 Abuse & Recovery of Self, Patience, Powerlessness
02:14:11 Living a Larger Life; “Shut Up, Suit Up, Show Up”
02:17:49 Life Stages; Despair & Integrity Conflict
02:25:00 Death, Ego, Mortality & Meaning
02:38:07 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter

#HubermanLab

Disclaimer: https://www.hubermanlab.com/disclaimer

Episode description

Mindsip insights from this episode:

Dedicate 30 minutes daily for self-reflection through meditation and journaling

Spend 15 minutes every morning meditating or journaling on your dreams and another 15 minutes in the evening reflecting on the stories you are living.

#journaling

#meditation

Recognize psychopathology as your soul's signal for change

Psychopathology should be understood literally as the expression of the suffering of the soul, which is a signal that your psyche is withdrawing its approval from your current life path.

#mental-health

#trauma

Embrace 'shut up, suit up, show up' to take action in life

Adopt the daily motto 'Shut up, suit up, show up' to stop whining, prepare yourself, and step into life to live it as best you can.

#motivation

Ask if this path enlarges or diminishes you for better decisions

When facing a decisive point, ask yourself, 'Does this path enlarge me psychically and spiritually, or does it diminish me?'.

#decision-making

#spirituality

Utilize medical-grade red light therapy for cellular health and recovery

Juve offers a medical-grade red light panel that uses clinically effective wavelengths of red and near-infrared light to improve cellular health, muscle recovery, and skin.

#recovery

#red-light

Live generatively from your soul in the first half of life

The first half of life is often a 'huge and unavoidable mistake' because we are living reactively to our environment rather than generatively from our own soul.

#personal-growth

Model courage and integrity to gift a fulfilled life to your child

The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parent, meaning a parent's best gift is to model a life lived with courage and integrity.

#parenting

#personal-growth

Question long-term marriages to assess personal growth

One should not automatically applaud a 50-year marriage without asking if the souls of the individuals grew or if they simply got stuck in their early dynamics.