How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence | Dr. Marc Brackett

Andrew Huberman

Sep 9, 2024

Episode description

In this episode, my guest is Dr. Marc Brackett, Ph.D., a professor in the Child Study Center at Yale University, director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and a world expert on what emotions are, how to interpret them, and how to work with emotions to yield a more impactful, meaningful and healthier life. We explore differences between introverts and extroverts, in-person and text-based emotional communication, and how emotional suppression impacts us.

We discuss emotional intelligence and describe tools to improve emotional regulation and communication in personal and professional relationships. We also explore the role of emotions in learning, resolving conflicts, and decision-making. We also discuss bullying in kids and adults, both in person and online. This episode provides a clear and novel framework for thinking about emotions and data-supported tools to improve emotion regulation, self-awareness, and empathic attunement.

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*Dr. Marc Brackett*
Website: https://marcbrackett.com
Yale academic profile: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/marc-brackett
Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence: https://medicine.yale.edu/childstudy/services/community-and-schools-programs/center-for-emotional-intelligence
Permission to Feel: https://marcbrackett.com/permission-to-feel
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marc.brackett
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marc-brackett-10a563
X: https://x.com/marcbrackett
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarcBrackett
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/marc.brackett.5

*Timestamps*
00:00:00 Dr. Marc Brackett
00:02:02 Sponsors: BetterHelp, Eight Sleep & Eudēmonia
00:06:03 What is Emotional Intelligence?; Self & Others
00:11:18 Language & Emotion
00:18:52 Emojis; Anger vs. Disappointment; Behavior & Emotion
00:24:35 Sponsor: AG1
00:26:05 Parent/Teacher Support; Online Etiquette
00:31:24 Anonymity, Online Comments
00:35:46 Happiness vs. Contentment; Knowing Oneself
00:41:33 Introversion & Extroversion; Personality & Emotional Intelligence
00:51:28 Sponsor: LMNT
00:52:40 Texting & Relationships
01:00:37 Tool: Mood Meter, Energy & Pleasantness Scale
01:06:28 Emotion Suppression; Permission to Feel, Emotions Mentor
01:19:42 Discussing Feelings; Emotional Self-Awareness
01:25:00 Understanding Cause of Emotions, Stress, Envy
01:33:40 Framing Empathy, Compassionate Empathy
01:42:28 Asking Question; Tools: Reframing, Hot Air Balloon; Distancing
01:49:44 Stereotypes, “Emotional”
01:53:49 Emotions, Learning & Decision Making; Intention
02:02:43 Emotion App & Self-Awareness; Gratitude Practice
02:07:13 Bullying
02:18:06 Courage & Bullying; Emotion Education
02:25:33 Punishment; Uncle Marvin
02:31:59 Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter

#HubermanLab #Science #EmotionalIntelligence

Disclaimer: https://www.hubermanlab.com/disclaimer

Mindsip insights from this episode:

Track emotions with 'How We Feel' app for better awareness

The 'How We Feel' app allows you to track your emotions on the mood meter throughout the day to find patterns in how you feel based on who you're with or where you are.

#emotion

Transform student stress into gratitude by addressing envy

A study of students who reported feeling 'stressed' revealed through journaling that the underlying emotion was often envy, which requires different coping strategies like gratitude.

#gratitude

#stress

Use distancing technique to manage difficult interactions

To deal with a difficult person in real-time, you can use a distancing technique by mentally putting them in a movie frame and observing them, which fosters curiosity instead of a reactive feeling.

#curiosity

#regulation

Limit texting to enhance emotional intelligence

Text messaging can decrease emotional intelligence because it lacks the nuance of face-to-face communication and can replace opportunities for building genuine intimacy.

#emotion

#relationships

Grant permission to feel through empathy and active listening

Many people lack the 'permission to feel' from their childhood, and the key to giving this permission to others is to be non-judgmental, empathic, and an active listener.

#emotion

#empathy

Distinguish personality traits from emotional intelligence

There is no correlation between personality traits like neuroticism and emotional intelligence, as emotionally volatile people may get more practice regulating their emotions.

#emotion

#regulation

Pursue contentment for sustainable well-being

Constantly striving for happiness can backfire, while contentment is about feeling complete and having enough, which can be a more sustainable state of well-being.

#contentment

#happiness

Differentiate anger from disappointment to resolve conflicts

Anger stems from a perceived injustice, whereas disappointment comes from legitimate, unmet expectations, and each requires a different strategy to resolve.

#emotion

Utilize mood meter to map and understand emotions

You can map any emotion on a simple two-axis grid of pleasantness (unpleasant to pleasant) and energy (low to high) to better understand your internal state.