Identity Hacker: How to Completely Change Your Personality at ANY Age | Olga Khazan

Dave Asprey

Apr 10, 2025

Episode description

What if you could rewrite the code of your personality—on command? Not just cope with anxiety, overthinking, or social exhaustion… but delete the traits holding you back and install better ones?

This episode challenges everything you’ve been told about identity. Dave dives deep into the science of personality change to reveal why your habits, moods, triggers, and even sense of self aren’t fixed—they’re fluid. And more importantly: they’re up for grabs.

Joining him is award-winning journalist from The Atlantic, Olga Khazan, author of Me, But Better, who spent years hacking her own mind—transforming high neuroticism, social avoidance, and chronic self-criticism into calm, confidence, and connection. Her personal experiment in identity rewiring became a roadmap for anyone who wants to feel different… and live differently.

You’ll uncover the hidden mechanisms behind neuroticism, reactivity, and emotional spirals—and how to override them with real-time upgrades.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why your personality is a program—and how to recode it

• What daily behaviors scientifically rewire anxiety, anger, and reactivity

• The surprising link between identity, inflammation, and your gut

• Why gratitude isn’t soft—it’s neurological jiu-jitsu

• How to know if it’s your biology or your story running the show

• Whether pills, psychedelics, or sleep do more to shift who you are

• What to do when your inner critic won’t shut up

• And how to stop being the person you never meant to become

Mindsip insights from this episode:

Accept sleep scores to prevent insomnia cycle

If a sleep tracker gives you a bad score, the best response is to simply accept it and have a normal day, as worrying about it can create a cycle of insomnia.

#anxiety

#sleep

Take an improv class to enhance neuroplasticity

Taking an improv class can increase neuroplasticity by forcing you out of rigid thought patterns and into a creative, spontaneous state of mind.

#creativity

#neuroplasticity

Release anxiety to unlock true potential

Many people resist letting go of anxiety because they believe it is the necessary fuel for their achievements and success.

#anxiety

#success

Manage postpartum challenges to stabilize personality changes

The postpartum period can cause personality scores to crater due to hormones and sleep deprivation, significantly increasing neuroticism and decreasing extroversion.

#childbirth

#mental-health

Measure personality traits scientifically with personalityassessor.com

You can scientifically measure your personality traits and compare them to the general population using the website personalityassessor.com, created by an SMU psychology professor.

#testing

Utilize SSRIs to lower neuroticism beyond depression

A small study found that SSRIs like Lexapro and Zoloft can reduce neuroticism as a personality trait, separate from their effect on depression.

#antidepressants

#mental-health

Establish strong boundaries to embody agreeableness

Being agreeable is not about being a people-pleaser; it requires having strong boundaries to prevent others from taking advantage of you.

#regulation

#relationships

Embrace personality evolution throughout your life

Over the course of a lifetime, your personality changes more than your happiness, health status, or even your church attendance.

#personal-growth

De-escalate anger by avoiding inflammatory labels

To quickly de-escalate anger, avoid using inflammatory labels for people and instead try to find a generous interpretation for their actions.

#emotion

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