If Your Body Does This, You're Stuck In Survival Mode (& You Don't Realize It) | Dr Nicole LePera

Rangan Chatterjee

Jun 10, 2026

Episode description

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Why do we sometimes react in ways we don’t mean to? Why does criticism land so heavily when others can brush it off? And why, even when life looks good from the outside, do we feel stuck on the inside? This week’s guest offers a new perspective on all this – and an optimistic way forward.
With nearly 10 million followers on Instagram as The Holistic Psychologist, Dr Nicole LePera has helped countless people see their lifelong patterns through a helpful new lens. She joins me to discuss her fantastic book, Reparenting the Inner Child: The New Science of Our Oldest Wounds and How to Heal Them.

At the heart of our conversation is an important idea: we don’t see the world as it is, we see it through the state of our nervous system. Nicole highlights the signs that yours may be calling the shots, such as restlessness, numbness, disproportionate reactions and the constant need to be busy. And she explains how those patterns trace back to a part of us shaped long before we had the language for it: our inner child.

We explore how childhood adaptations follow us into adulthood, often without us realising, shaping our relationships, our careers, our sensitivity to criticism, and our self-worth. Nicole walks us through some of the parent archetypes from her book. And we discuss the universal choice every child makes between authenticity and attachment (and what this costs us later). Importantly, this is never about blaming, parent or child – acceptance of the past (rather than approval or forgiveness) is how we begin to change.

You’ll be fascinated to hear Nicole explain how trauma from generations before us may still be wired into our bodies, but we can break the cycle. We also discuss why conflict in relationships can be healthy, and why healing is a two-step process: becoming aware, and then making different choices.

The best part? You’ll come away from this conversation with the tools for change. Nicole talks us through her practical strategies, including the conscious check-in, the three body anchors, bilateral stimulation, and getting to know yourself through simple, mindful moments.

Whether you've spent years exploring attachment and inner-child work, or this is your first therapy session, I know you’ll find something here that stays with you. As Nicole says, healing isn’t about reaching an end point. It’s an ongoing process, available to all of us at any moment that we choose to join in.

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Find out more about Dr LePera:
Website https://theholisticpsychologist.com/
Facebook / the.holistic.psychologist
X / theholisticpsyc
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YouTube / @theholisticpsychologist
Tik Tok / theholisticpsychologist

Dr LePera’s book:
Reparenting the Inner Child UK https://amzn.to/4u4SrJh US https://amzn.to/43CRvRI

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DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Mindsip insights from this episode:

Utilize butterfly hug for trauma healing

You can use bilateral stimulation, like crossing your arms and rhythmically tapping your shoulders in a 'butterfly hug,' to help reintegrate the brain's feeling and logic hemispheres after trauma.

#therapy

#trauma

Prioritize attachment over authenticity for child survival

When faced with the choice, a child will always choose attachment to their caregiver over their own authenticity because attachment is essential for survival.

#children

#parenting

Recognize ancestral link through egg development in wombs

The egg that developed into you was created in your mother's womb while she was in your grandmother's womb, creating a direct biological link to your ancestral environment.

#genetics

Listen to your body instead of chasing rigid health protocols

Rigidly following health protocols can be counterproductive if done from a place of shame, and it's better to listen to your body's needs, which change daily.

#protocol

#wellness

Start with cool water to safely build cold plunge capacity

If your nervous system is already overwhelmed, an intense cold plunge can be overly stressful, and starting with cool water is a safer way to build capacity.

#cold-therapy

#stress

Recognize busyness as a survival strategy for nervous system regulation

Constant busyness is often a survival strategy used to avoid the internal agitation and overwhelming sensations of a dysregulated nervous system.

#nervous-system

#stress

Reduce stress by limiting phone screen time

Constantly looking at a small phone screen mimics the narrow focus of a threat response, which naturally signals stress to your body.

#screen-time

#stress

Understand famine's epigenetic impact on future generations

The Dutch Hunger Study found that women pregnant during a famine had children with altered metabolisms, predisposing them to diseases like high blood pressure and cancer later in life.

#epigenetics

#metabolism

Accept trauma to create new experiences

Making peace with a traumatic childhood doesn't mean you have to feel good about it, but rather accept that it happened so you can create a new experience for yourself now.