Childhood Lies Making Us Feel Lost & Empty - How To Raise Mentally Resilient Children | Dan Siegel

Rangan Chatterjee

Oct 30, 2024

Episode description

Learn more about our sponsor https://www.eightsleep.com/livemore

Download my FREE Habit Change Guide HERE: https://bit.ly/3VCaV34

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Are you living your life intentionally, or are you simply reacting to the world around you? Do you feel a sense of wholeness and contentment, or are you constantly striving for something more? In today's episode, I dive into these fundamental questions about the nature of human existence with Dr Dan Siegel.

Dan received his medical degree from Harvard University and completed his postgraduate medical education at UCLA with training in Paediatrics and Child, Adolescent and Adult Psychiatry. He has spent decades studying family interactions with an emphasis on how our attachment experiences influence our emotions, behaviour and autobiographical memory.

He is also an award-winning educator, who was previously Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the School of Medicine in UCLA, and he’s the author of five New York Times bestsellers and over fifteen other books, including his very latest, Personality and Wholeness in Therapy.

In this conversation, Dan shares insights from his ground-breaking 20-year project on personality development. We discuss the difference between temperament and personality and explore how our innate tendencies interact with our life experiences to shape who we become.

Dan introduces his theory of ABC (Agency, Bonding, Certainty) as fundamental motivational networks influencing our personality and explains how understanding these can lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth.

We discuss the impact our childhood experiences have on our adult lives. Dan shares his ‘4 S's’ of parenting - a brilliant framework which helps us build emotionally resilient children. We also go through Dan’s ‘Wheel of Awareness’ practice - a powerful tool that helps us move - from a reactive state to a more intentional, receptive way of living.

Dan's message is one of hope and it reminds us that it's never too late to work on ourselves and find that sense of wholeness within. This conversation is not just about understanding ourselves better - it's about finding a path to true contentment and inner peace. I hope you enjoy listening.

#feelbetterlivemore
-----

Connect with Dr Siegel:
Website https://drdansiegel.com/
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/drdansiegel/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drdansiegel/
Twitter https://twitter.com/DrDanSiegel

Dr Siegel’s books:
Personality and Wholeness in Therapy: Integrating 9 Patterns of Developmental Pathways in Clinical Practice UK https://amzn.to/3BZ9HdV US https://amzn.to/40nKdB4
IntraConnected: MWe (Me + We) as the Integration of Self, Identity, and Belonging US https://amzn.to/48no0Fa UK https://amzn.to/3AgiZl4
The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are US https://amzn.to/4fEDd7l UK https://amzn.to/48rCbZF
Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain UK https://amzn.to/3YGMg1V US https://amzn.to/3Usbxu6
The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind, Survive Everyday Parenting Struggles, and Help Your Family Thrive US https://amzn.to/3Ahxrcu UK https://amzn.to/4eZ9HZH

#feelbetterlivemore #feelbetterlivemorepodcast

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Listen to all podcast episodes on https://drchatterjee.com/podcast or via these podcast platforms by searching for 'Feel Better, Live More'.
Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/6NyPQfcSR9nj0DPDr2ixrK
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Newsletter: https://drchatterjee.com/subscription

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Episode description

Learn more about our sponsor https://www.eightsleep.com/livemore

Download my FREE Habit Change Guide HERE: https://bit.ly/3VCaV34

Download my FREE Sleep Guide HERE: https://bit.ly/3OzqCap

Are you living your life intentionally, or are you simply reacting to the world around you? Do you feel a sense of wholeness and contentment, or are you constantly striving for something more? In today's episode, I dive into these fundamental questions about the nature of human existence with Dr Dan Siegel.

Dan received his medical degree from Harvard University and completed his postgraduate medical education at UCLA with training in Paediatrics and Child, Adolescent and Adult Psychiatry. He has spent decades studying family interactions with an emphasis on how our attachment experiences influence our emotions, behaviour and autobiographical memory.

He is also an award-winning educator, who was previously Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the School of Medicine in UCLA, and he’s the author of five New York Times bestsellers and over fifteen other books, including his very latest, Personality and Wholeness in Therapy.

In this conversation, Dan shares insights from his ground-breaking 20-year project on personality development. We discuss the difference between temperament and personality and explore how our innate tendencies interact with our life experiences to shape who we become.

Dan introduces his theory of ABC (Agency, Bonding, Certainty) as fundamental motivational networks influencing our personality and explains how understanding these can lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth.

We discuss the impact our childhood experiences have on our adult lives. Dan shares his ‘4 S's’ of parenting - a brilliant framework which helps us build emotionally resilient children. We also go through Dan’s ‘Wheel of Awareness’ practice - a powerful tool that helps us move - from a reactive state to a more intentional, receptive way of living.

Dan's message is one of hope and it reminds us that it's never too late to work on ourselves and find that sense of wholeness within. This conversation is not just about understanding ourselves better - it's about finding a path to true contentment and inner peace. I hope you enjoy listening.

#feelbetterlivemore
-----

Connect with Dr Siegel:
Website https://drdansiegel.com/
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/drdansiegel/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drdansiegel/
Twitter https://twitter.com/DrDanSiegel

Dr Siegel’s books:
Personality and Wholeness in Therapy: Integrating 9 Patterns of Developmental Pathways in Clinical Practice UK https://amzn.to/3BZ9HdV US https://amzn.to/40nKdB4
IntraConnected: MWe (Me + We) as the Integration of Self, Identity, and Belonging US https://amzn.to/48no0Fa UK https://amzn.to/3AgiZl4
The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are US https://amzn.to/4fEDd7l UK https://amzn.to/48rCbZF
Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain UK https://amzn.to/3YGMg1V US https://amzn.to/3Usbxu6
The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind, Survive Everyday Parenting Struggles, and Help Your Family Thrive US https://amzn.to/3Ahxrcu UK https://amzn.to/4eZ9HZH

#feelbetterlivemore #feelbetterlivemorepodcast

-------
Sign up to my newsletter - FRIDAY FIVE https://drchatterjee.com/fridayfive
Find out about THE THREE QUESTION JOURNAL https://bit.ly/3TSaYtX
Pre-order MAKE CHANGE THAT LASTS. US & Canada version https://amzn.to/3RyO3SL, UK version https://amzn.to/3Kt5rUK
Order HAPPY MIND HAPPY LIFE. US & Canada https://amzn.to/3DRxjgp, UK https://amzn.to/304opgJ
Read FEEL GREAT LOSE WEIGHT. US & Canada https://amzn.to/2GWPgls, UK https://amzn.to/2W6bsOE
Order FEEL BETTER IN 5. US & Canada https://amzn.to/2EB2oM0, UK https://amzn.to/2G0XK7l
Read THE STRESS SOLUTION https://amzn.to/2MZ8u8h
Order THE 4 PILLAR PLAN available via http://amzn.to/2yGfpuB Or the US version is HOW TO MAKE DISEASE DISAPPEAR https://amzn.to/2Gj1YEL
-----
Listen to all podcast episodes on https://drchatterjee.com/podcast or via these podcast platforms by searching for 'Feel Better, Live More'.
Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/6NyPQfcSR9nj0DPDr2ixrK
-----
Follow Dr Chatterjee at:
Website: https://drchatterjee.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drchatterjee
Twitter: https://twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drchatterjee/
Newsletter: https://drchatterjee.com/subscription

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Mindsip insights from this episode:

Ensure children feel seen, soothed, and safe for secure development

To raise a secure child, focus on making them feel seen, soothed, and safe, and when you fail, reliably make a repair.

Reframe your past to enhance parenting success

It's not what happened to you in childhood that determines your parenting success, but rather how you have made sense of what happened to you.

Achieve open awareness to enhance biological health

Accessing a state of open awareness can lead to measurable physiological benefits, including increased telomerase to repair chromosomes and reduced inflammation.

Practice Wheel of Awareness for pure awareness and contentment

The 'Wheel of Awareness' is a specific meditation practice that can help you access a state of pure awareness, leading to feelings of wholeness, love, and contentment.

Distinguish temperament from personality for self-awareness

You are born with an innate, unlearned temperament, while your personality is the adaptive strategy that emerges from it in response to your life experiences.

Rediscover effortless wholeness through personality journey

Our personality is a lifelong attempt to return to the state of effortless 'wholeness' that we implicitly remember from our time in the womb.

Release competitiveness as an adaptive childhood strategy

A trait you believe is core to your identity, like competitiveness, may actually be an adaptive strategy you developed in childhood that you can now release.

Recognize interconnectedness beyond individual self

The modern cultural idea that your 'self' is limited to your individual body is a mistaken identity that causes separation from others and nature.

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