#1 Communication Expert: "If Someone Says THIS, They’re Trying to Control You!" – Protect Your Peace

Rangan Chatterjee

Jul 9, 2025

Episode description

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Most of us spend our lives in conversation - yet very few of us are ever taught how to communicate well. Whether it’s with our partners, colleagues, family or friends, we often assume that being heard is the same as being understood. But true communication isn’t just about the words we use - it’s about the tone, timing and energy behind them.

This week’s guest believes that better communication can transform not only our relationships, but our health and happiness as well.

Jefferson Fisher is a trial lawyer, a sought after public speaker and the author of the brand new book, The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why good communication is about more than just words
• The three essential principles to better communication
• How to shift from reaction to reflection by making your first word your breath
• What it means to “control the moment”
• How to use the “I can tell…” framework to defuse tension
• Why silence can be a superpower, when used correctly
• How ego, fear and unspoken emotion are often the real reason for arguments

This isn’t just an episode about talking. It’s about how to listen better, show up with more intention, and move from conflict to connection – one breath, one moment, one conversation at a time. I hope you enjoy listening.

#feelbetterlivemore
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Connect with Jefferson:
https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXjnpu6lK0HoUyOMh2ZBwhQ
https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher/?hl=en
https://www.facebook.com/justaskjefferson/
https://www.x.com/jefferson_fishr
Podcast https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/podcast
https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson?lang=en

Jefferson’s book:
The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More US: https://amzn.to/3GevUHn UK: https://amzn.to/3GeQrvs

#feelbetterlivemore #feelbetterlivemorepodcast
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Order MAKE CHANGE THAT LASTS. US & Canada version https://amzn.to/3RyO3SL, UK version https://amzn.to/3Kt5rUK
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Website: https://drchatterjee.com/
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Twitter: https://twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk
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Newsletter: https://drchatterjee.com/subscription

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Mindsip insights from this episode:

Replace apologies with gratitude to enhance interactions

Instead of saying 'Sorry for the delay,' which can be disingenuous, express gratitude by saying 'Thank you for your patience' to reframe the interaction positively.

#gratitude

#relationships

Replace 'I disagree' with perspective-based phrases to foster dialogue

Instead of saying 'I disagree,' which can make people defensive, use perspective-based phrases like 'I see things differently' to open up the conversation.

#relationships

Preserve energy by avoiding unnecessary arguments

You can choose not to engage in every argument you're invited to, which preserves your mental and emotional energy for what's truly important.

#energy

#mental-health

Address deeper causes behind disagreements to resolve conflicts

In disagreements, the stated problem is often just a symptom of a deeper, unaddressed cause like fear or insecurity from a past event.

#conflict

#emotion

Strengthen feet with barefoot shoes to alleviate pain

Wearing wide, thin, and flexible barefoot shoes like Vivos can strengthen your feet, which may help improve pain in your back, hips, and knees.

#footwear

#pain

Simplify nutrition with a daily health drink like AG1

A comprehensive daily supplement like AG1, with over 70 ingredients including vitamins, minerals, and probiotics, can simplify supporting your health.

#nutrition

#supplement

Enhance communication skills to improve health and reduce stress

Your communication skills directly impact your stress levels and nervous system, making the ability to communicate well a powerful tool for improving your overall health.

#nervous-system

#stress

Use physiological sigh to regulate your nervous system in tense moments

Before responding in a tense moment, use a physiological sigh—a silent double inhale through the nose followed by a long exhale—to regulate your nervous system.

#breathing

#nervous-system

Claim emotions by stating 'I can tell' to communicate effectively

Instead of reacting to an emotion, state 'I can tell I'm getting upset' to claim the feeling, control it, and clearly communicate your state to the other person.

#emotion

#regulation

Address fear to improve communication effectiveness

Most communication breakdowns are driven more by fear—of losing credibility, respect, or safety—than by ego, which triggers a fight-or-flight response.