How Relationships Shape Your Brain | Dr. Allan Schore

Andrew Huberman

Nov 11, 2024

Episode description

In this episode, my guest is Dr. Allan Schore, Ph.D., a faculty member in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of California, Los Angeles, a longtime clinical psychotherapist, and a multi-book author. We discuss how early child-parent interactions shape brain circuitry, impacting our ability to form attachments, manage emotions, and navigate conflict and stress. We cover how the development of right-brain circuitry related to emotional processing and the unconscious mind regulates physiological responses, influencing adult friendships and romantic relationships. We also explore how improving your ability to listen to the emotional tone—rather than just the meaning—of words is a vital skill for fostering better relationships with yourself and others, and how it plays a role in reshaping brain circuitry.

Additionally, we explain how circuits in the right brain hemisphere drive creativity and intuition and discuss activities to access the unconscious mind. This episode delves into how the unconscious mind regulates emotions—both your own and others’—and shapes our sense of self. By the end, you’ll have new knowledge and tools to build more secure, meaningful, and impactful connections of all kinds: professional, romantic, familial, friendships, and beyond.

Access the full show notes for this episode, including referenced articles, resources, and people mentioned: https://go.hubermanlab.com/SbUJyLX

Use Ask Huberman Lab, our chat-based tool, for summaries, clips, and insights from this episode: https://go.hubermanlab.com/pnoUTEI

*Thank you to our sponsors*
AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman
David Protein: https://davidprotein.com/huberman
Eight Sleep: https://eightsleep.com/huberman
Function: https://functionhealth.com/huberman

*Dr. Allan Schore*
Website: https://www.allanschore.com
Books: https://amzn.to/3AyS8Rw
Publications: https://www.allanschore.com/curriculum-vitae/publications
Right Brain Psychotherapy Institute: https://rightbrainpsychotherapy.com
Master Class: https://rightbrainpsychotherapy.com/master-class
Modern attachment theory (video): https://youtu.be/c0sKY86Qmzo?si=3rGee4fAxj1HOjtk
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rightbrainpsych
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rightbrainpsych
X: https://x.com/rightbrainpsych
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/right-brain-psychotherapy-institute

*Timestamps*
00:00:00 Dr. Allan Schore
00:02:37 Sponsors: David & Eight Sleep
00:05:49 Thoughts & Unconscious Mind
00:07:36 Right vs Left Brain, Child Development, Attachment
00:13:19 Attachment Styles & Development, Emotions & Physiology
00:18:12 Intuition, Arousal, Emotional Regulation & Attachment
00:23:13 Psychobiological Attunement, Repair; Insecure & Anxious Attachment
00:28:33 Attachment Styles, Regulation Theory; Therapy
00:34:20 Sponsor: AG1
00:35:51 “Surrender,” Therapy, Patient Synchronization
00:39:46 Synchrony, Empathy, Therapy & Developing Autoregulation
00:45:07 Mother vs Father, Child Development; Single Caretakers
00:50:51 MDMA, Right Brain; Fetal Development
00:55:58 Sponsor: Function
00:57:46 Integrating Positive & Negative Emotions, Quiet vs Excited Love
01:03:33 Splitting, Borderline; Therapy & Emotions
01:09:24 Tool: Right Brain, Vulnerability & Repair
01:15:32 Right vs. Left Brain, Attention
01:19:26 Right Brain Synchronization, Eye Connection, Empathy
01:25:39 Music & Dogs, Resonance
01:30:58 Right Brain & Body; Empathic Connection, Body Language
01:36:47 Tool: Text Message, Communication, Relationships
01:42:18 Right Brain Dominance & Activities; Tool: Fostering the Right Brain
01:50:10 Defenses, Blind Spots
01:53:14 Creativity, Accessing the Right Brain, Insight
01:59:31 Paternal Leave, Parent-Child Relationships, Attachment
02:05:16 Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter

#HubermanLab #Science #Relationships #Brain

Disclaimer: https://www.hubermanlab.com/disclaimer

Episode description

Mindsip insights from this episode:

Prioritize emotional health for lifelong satisfaction

A study from the London School of Economics found that the best childhood predictor of adult life satisfaction is emotional health, followed by conduct, with IQ ranking last.

#emotion

#happiness

Practice wide-ranging attention to engage right brain

To shift from the analytical left brain to the holistic right brain, practice using wide-ranging or 'evenly suspended' attention rather than narrowly focused attention.

#attention

#cognition

Understand right brain's role in unconscious emotional processing

The right hemisphere of the brain is essentially the physical location of the unconscious mind, constantly processing emotional information below our awareness.

#brain

#emotion

Understand attachment as a right-brain dynamic in early development

The entire process of attachment in the first two years of life is a right-brain to right-brain dynamic between the infant and primary caregiver, occurring before the left brain's language centers fully develop.

#children

#relationships

Understand avoidant and anxious emotional regulation strategies

People with an avoidant attachment style primarily self-regulate their emotions, whereas those with an anxious style constantly seek others to help regulate them.

#emotion

#regulation

Recognize dissociation as a defense against attachment disruption

In response to extreme stress, individuals with disorganized attachment may use dissociation as a defense mechanism to completely shut down the entire attachment system.

#stress

#trauma

Repair misattunements to foster secure attachment

The key to a secure attachment is not just perfect attunement, but the caregiver's ability to repair moments of misattunement and successfully reconnect with the child.

#parenting

#relationships

Surrender analytical mind for deeper therapist-patient connection

For a therapist to truly connect with a patient's emotional state, they must 'surrender' their analytical left brain to engage in a right-brain to right-brain interaction.

#emotion

#therapy

Engage fathers to shape left brain development through play

While the mother figure typically shapes the infant's right brain in the first year, the father figure often comes online in the second year to shape the left brain through more arousing, risk-taking play.

#children

#parenting

Synchronize brains to enhance empathy

Modern hyperscanning neuroimaging shows that when two people are in an empathic state, their right brains, specifically the right temporal parietal junction, literally synchronize with each other.